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Part 3: Building Resilience and Advocating for Change

September 6, 2024

While helping children cope with the immediate aftermath of a school shooting is crucial, building long-term resilience is equally important. In addition to supporting your child, parents can play a vital role in advocating for safer schools and communities. In this final part of the series, we will explore ways to foster resilience in children and how to engage in meaningful action to drive change.

Fostering Resilience in Children

Resilience is the ability to adapt and bounce back from adversity. While no one can fully shield children from the harsh realities of the world, parents can help them develop the skills and mindset necessary to face challenges with courage and strength.

1. Encourage Problem-Solving Skills

One of the key aspects of resilience is the ability to solve problems. Encourage your child to come up with solutions when they face difficulties, whether at school or in their personal life. Instead of solving problems for them, guide them through the process of brainstorming and weighing different options. This empowers them to feel more in control of their circumstances.

2. Promote a Growth Mindset

A growth mindset—the belief that abilities and intelligence can be developed through effort—can help children see challenges as opportunities for growth rather than insurmountable obstacles. Encourage your child to view setbacks as part of life’s learning process. Praise their efforts rather than focusing solely on outcomes, which can reinforce their sense of capability.

3. Cultivate Emotional Intelligence

Helping children identify and manage their emotions is critical in building resilience. Teach them that it’s okay to feel scared, sad, or angry, but also show them how to regulate those emotions in a healthy way. Books, conversations, and modeling positive emotional responses can all help children develop emotional intelligence.

Advocating for Change: What Parents Can Do

Beyond supporting individual children, parents have the power to advocate for safer schools and more robust mental health resources. In the aftermath of a school shooting, communities often come together to demand changes that can prevent future tragedies. Here are some ways parents can get involved:

1. Support School Safety Measures

Attend school board meetings or talk to school administrators about the safety protocols in place. Advocate for measures such as enhanced lockdown procedures, improved communication systems, and regular safety drills. Work with local law enforcement and school officials to ensure these measures are consistently updated and practiced.

2. Advocate for Mental Health Resources

Often, school shootings are linked to untreated mental health issues. By advocating for increased access to mental health resources in schools, parents can help ensure that children who are struggling receive the support they need before a crisis occurs. This might include asking for more counselors, social workers, and programs that promote emotional well-being in schools.

3. Join or Form Parent Advocacy Groups

One of the most effective ways to advocate for change is by joining or forming a parent advocacy group. These groups can amplify your voice, provide support, and create a unified effort to push for meaningful reforms. Parent groups can lobby for changes at the local, state, or even federal level, focusing on both school safety and broader gun control measures.

Look for existing local or national organizations, such as Moms Demand Action, Sandy Hook Promise, or other advocacy groups that are working toward preventing gun violence in schools. These organizations often have resources, connections with lawmakers, and the experience to guide advocacy efforts. If there isn’t a local group, consider starting one. Gather other concerned parents, teachers, and community members who share your concerns and work together to develop an action plan.

Tips for forming or joining a parent advocacy group:

  • Set clear goals: Whether it’s advocating for stricter gun laws, better school security measures, or more mental health resources, having specific goals will help your group stay focused.
  • Engage with local representatives: Contact your local legislators, attend town hall meetings, and write letters to voice your concerns. Elected officials are more likely to listen when they hear from a unified group of parents.
  • Collaborate with schools: Work alongside school administrations to ensure they are implementing best practices for safety and providing mental health resources for students. Your group could help organize informational meetings or workshops for parents, students, and staff.
  • Leverage social media: Social media platforms can be powerful tools for organizing and raising awareness. Create a Facebook page or Twitter account to share information, organize events, and bring more people into the cause.

4. Engage with Lawmakers on Gun Control and School Safety Legislation

Parents can have a significant impact on policymaking, especially when advocating for issues that affect children’s safety. Contact your representatives at the local, state, and federal levels to voice your concerns about school shootings and push for stronger gun control laws, such as universal background checks, safe storage laws, and limits on high-capacity magazines or assault-style weapons. Many lawmakers are more responsive to constituents who are persistent, so don’t be afraid to call, email, or visit their offices.

You can also advocate for more comprehensive safety measures at the school level, including improved security infrastructure, mental health screening programs, and anti-bullying initiatives, which can help prevent violent incidents before they occur.

5. Collaborate with Community Leaders and Organizations

Parents don’t have to advocate for change alone. Community leaders, including religious organizations, nonprofits, and mental health professionals, can be invaluable partners in your efforts. Together, you can work to build a stronger safety net for children, both inside and outside of schools.

Consider partnering with local mental health organizations to offer free workshops or support groups for parents and children struggling with anxiety related to school shootings. You might also collaborate with local businesses or civic groups to fundraise for safety improvements in schools or to support families affected by school violence.

6. Encourage Your Child’s School to Focus on Social-Emotional Learning (SEL)

One of the best long-term strategies to prevent school violence is by fostering a supportive, emotionally healthy school environment. Social-emotional learning (SEL) teaches children essential life skills like empathy, self-regulation, conflict resolution, and effective communication. These programs can reduce bullying, improve school culture, and help children develop the emotional intelligence needed to cope with stress and trauma.

Parents can advocate for the integration of SEL programs into their children’s schools by:

  • Encouraging teachers and administrators to incorporate SEL into the curriculum. This can be done through classroom lessons, assemblies, or extracurricular activities.
  • Promoting peer mentoring and conflict resolution programs. These initiatives empower students to support one another and resolve conflicts before they escalate into violence.
  • Participating in SEL training or workshops. Schools often offer these sessions to help parents reinforce the concepts of SEL at home.

The Importance of Continued Advocacy

While no single action will prevent all school shootings, consistent, collective advocacy from parents can lead to meaningful changes. It’s essential to remember that the fight for safer schools is an ongoing effort, and progress can take time. However, by staying informed, involved, and committed to the cause, parents can help create a safer future for their children and communities.

Conclusion: Turning Tragedy into Change

In the wake of a school shooting, it’s natural to feel powerless, but as a parent, you have more influence than you might think. By fostering resilience in your children and advocating for safer schools and communities, you can help mitigate the trauma of such events and work toward preventing future tragedies. Whether through individual action, group efforts, or political advocacy, parents play a critical role in ensuring that their children feel safe and supported both in and out of the classroom.

While the road to change may be long, each step forward—whether it’s comforting your child after a traumatic event, supporting their emotional well-being, or advocating for stronger laws—brings us closer to a world where school shootings are no longer a reality. Working together, we can build safer, more resilient communities for our children.